The Beaver, the Ferret, and the Egg
by all4sweets
Summary: “I don’t want to do this as much as you don’t. But right now, we have no choice. In order to get a good grade we have to work together. So stop acting like a bloody baby, get over it, and be a man.” DMxHG
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is my first Harry Potter story so go easy on me. I'm not sure if this idea has already been turned into a story, but I'm not going to spend days going through the list of about 200,000. So if there is a story like this out there already, I apologize. Anyway, enjoy this…**

_**Prologue**_

As Hermione walked to the dungeons with Harry and Ron, she thought about what was going on. After sixth year, the trio had traveled the world looking for and destroying Voldemort's Horcruxes. In the final battle, Harry managed to kill Voldemort once and for all. Now, two years later, they were back at the reopened Hogwarts to finish their schooling.

Most of the old teachers were back except for Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall had taken the position of headmistress but continued teaching Transfiguration. There was a new class though, for all seventh years. It was a parenting class and Hermione would love it if it weren't for two things. Snape was the teacher, and the Gryffindors had to share the class with the Slytherins.

But Hermione could overlook that fact for the next two weeks because they were going to start Monday. Each person would be paired up and would pretend to be parents for an egg. She had seen this stuff on T.V. so Hermione was excited that she would get to do it in real life.

Snape walked in a minute after they sat down and started talking. "As you know, the parenting class will begin on Monday. Instead of potions, you will be taking care of your 'child.' You were told that you would be working with an egg but that is no longer the case. Thanks to a student here, you will be using a doll that has been created for this sort of thing by muggles. You will find out about your partners on Sunday. Then you will get your baby on Monday." With that, he turned around and began the class.

The weekend passed too slowly for Hermione. She tried to spend time reading but she just couldn't concentrate. Ron offered to play wizard chess with her but after being beaten three times, she gave up. Harry and Ginny were always together and Hermione felt like a third wheel.

Sunday finally arrived. After dinner when the Gryffindors arrived back at their common room, there was a new sheet on the bulletin board. Everyone knew what it was and rushed over. Ron and Harry pushed through the crowd while Hermione hung back. After a while, the crowd dimmed and Harry came back. His face was pale.

"Harry what's wrong?" Hermione asked.

"I got Ron." Harry said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Harry. Wait! How did you get Ron?"

"Apparently, they ran out of Slytherins…" Harry sighed.

"I still don't get it." Hermione replied trying to hold back laughter.

Ron slowly walked over to them. "I can't believe I got YOU Harry. I kept double checking to make sure it was true. DAMN YOU SNAPE!" He spat at the word Snape.

"Okay! Now I get it. Of course Snape would put you two together." Hermione said shaking with laughter. "So who did I get Harry?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Hermione, becoming impatient walked over to the list herself. At the top it said, "BECOMING A PARENT!" The list was divided into two columns; the Gryffindor column and then the Slytherin column. Hermione scanned the list until she came to her name. She moved her finger across until it reached the name of her partner.

"DRACO MALFOY?" Hermione shouted.

**A/N: So, this is the beginning. I will try to update as soon as possible but school starts on Monday. Now what are you waiting for? Review, review!**


	2. Day 1: Monday

A/N: I have two things to say. One, this is NOT a slash between Harry and Ron. I partnered them up to add a little humor to the story. Second, I reread the first chapter and decided to bring the story to a more serious place. I don't think it will fit right with where the story is going. Now enjoy…

**_Day 1: Monday_**

Hermione sat up in bed. Today was the day. The day that would be start of torture she was being put through: two weeks with Malfoy. She shuddered.

"Hermione, get up so we can go to breakfast." Ginny said walking into the room. Hermione didn't move so Ginny took the liberty of picking out clothes for her and threw them on the bed. Hermione finally got up and after changing, she walked with Ginny to breakfast.

The morning went by way too fast for Hermione. Suddenly, it was time. She walked with Harry and Ron dragging her feet. Harry and Ron seemed to be doing the same.

"Nice of you to show up." Snape said with a sneer. "Ten points from Gryffindor for each of you."

"WHAT? That's not…" Harry started but was pulled into his seat by Ron who didn't want to get into more trouble.

"You all should know who your partners are by now. So before you get together, I will pass out your babies." Snape said as he walked around, passing the dolls out to the mothers. When he came to Harry and Ron, he smirked. "Which of you is the mother?" Snape asked. "Actually… which one of you is going to pretend to be the father?" Harry clenched his fists under the desk and gave Snape a glare. Ron did the same. Getting no answer, he dropped the baby on the desk and walked away.

Having passed out all the babies, Snape said it was time to pair up. Hermione slowly dragged herself from her seat to walk toward Malfoy.

_Here goes nothing…_

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When Draco had found out that Mudblood would be his partner, he had spent the rest of the night seething. But now that he had some time to think, this could be fun. He loved to pick on her and now here was his chance. Two weeks to torture her to no end.

As she walked toward him, he watched her. It had been two years since he had last seen her. After turning over to the light side, he had been put into hiding. He did small things to help the order, and therefore never saw the Golden Trio much at all. She had grown into a woman and had managed to tame her bushy hair. It was now a little past shoulder length and straight.

_She's attractive… WOAH! Where did that come from?_

She sat down in the chair next to his. She put the baby on the desk but before either could speak, Snape spoke up. "Now that you're with your partner, I can go over the project in detail. These dolls are specifically made for this sort of thing. You have to treat them like real babies. They will need to be fed, changed, cleaned, and of course… loved. They will cry and even pee and poop. They have been tampered with magically to do anything else the muggles couldn't get them to do. The only difference between the doll and a real baby is simple, it's not alive. You will not come here everyday. Instead, you will use the time to take care of the child together. All meals, you must sit together with you're partner. You have to take the baby to class with you. And one more thing… NO nannies."

At that a few people groaned but inside, Draco was screaming. I have to eat with her too? Great!

"So Mudblood… looks like we have to spend lots of time together." Draco said looking slightly disgusted.

"Yeah ferret, looks like we do. How do you want to split the responsibilities?" She asked.

"How about you take care of the baby, and I do nothing?"

"How 'bout no!" She answered glaring at him.

"Just kidding around."

"I will take the baby for the rest of the afternoon. Then at dinner, you take her and…" Hermione began but Draco stopped her.

"Hold on! The baby is a girl? How do you know?" He asked annoyed.

"Look at Harry's and Ron's." As Draco looked over at them, he noticed that the diaper had somehow come off and he had a full few of the doll's privates.

"Okay I get it."

"As I was saying." Hermione said. "I will take the baby for the rest of the afternoon. Then at dinner, you take her until the next morning. I will take her at breakfast until lunch when you take over. Then I get her at dinner and for the rest of the night. We can keep switching off like that. Get it?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Draco said rolling his eyes. It did sound like a good plan though. "What about weekends?"

"Well were being forced to spend time together so…" Hermione let the statement hang in the air. They both knew what that meant.

Snape started speaking once again. "Each care will get a baby pack. There will be diapers, toys, clothes, and a few empty bottles. Baby food will be on the tables at all meals so make sure to feed the baby. You will come to class on Friday during the second period so you can restock. I will also be checking on how you're doing. Until then, class dismissed."

As they stepped out of the classroom, Hermione suddenly grabbed Draco's arm. "We forgot to name the baby."

"Get your filthy Mudblood hands off of me Granger." He spat. "Now I have to burn these clothes." (a/n: I hate that they have to wear robes so I'm going to pretend they don't have to wear them anymore)

"Okay that's IT! I can't take it anymore." Hermione shouted angrily. Then next thing Draco knew, he was pinned against the wall. One hand on each of his shoulders. He could feel her breath on his face.

_Damn, she's strong…_

(a/n: I've read a lot of stories where Draco pins Hermione to the wall. So I thought it would be a fun twist to have Hermione doing the pinning.)

"I don't want to do this as much as you don't. But right now, we have no choice. In order to get a good grade we have to work together. So stop acting like a bloody baby, get over it, and be a man." With that, Hermione turned around and stalked off.

--------------------------------------------

When dinner arrived, Hermione walked into the Great hall to find an extra table set up. She knew that it was the seventh year table. She spotted Harry and Ron but no Draco.

_Good! I'm not ready to deal with him yet…_

Hermione was tired. She had been with the baby since her little fit. It had been crying non stop. All the babies had. So most teachers just gave up and let us try to calm them down. She sat down between Harry and Neville. She filled a bottle with warm milk and started to feed the baby when Harry spoke up. "What have you named the baby Hermione?"

"We haven't decided yet. You?"

"Ron and I decided to name him Sirius." Harry said blushing.

"Oh Harry! Sirius would have loved that." Hermione replied.

Draco suddenly appeared at her side. He stared at Neville with a look that said 'Move! You're in my seat.' Hermione looked at him and said, "Please? Thank you Neville." Draco sat down and to Hermione's surprise, apologized.

"I'm sorry. I've been thinking about what you said and your right. We have to work together for the next two weeks. So truce?"

"Truce." Hermione said smiling. "I have some ideas for the baby's name." She said changing the subject. "Elizabeth?"

"No."

"Camilla?"

"No way!"

"Crystal?"

"HELL NO!"

Getting frustrated Hermione stopped to think. Suddenly her eyes lit up. "Dakota!"

"Dakota Malfoy…" Draco muttered thinking. "I like it."

"You mean Dakota Granger." She said pointedly.

"Uh no. If were going to pretend to be married, you're taking my name." Draco replied.

"Whatever!" Hermione answered but she was blushing.

After they were finished eating, Hermione tried to make the baby burp. As she was patting Dakota on the back, she heard the baby belch. Then she realized that along with the belch, some food had come out and hit Draco square in the face.

"This project is getting better and better." She said before cracking up.

**A/N: Well this isn't really a cliff hanger but I couldn't think of one. Let me know what you think!**

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	3. Day 2: Tuesday

**A/N: Just so I don't get into trouble for this later, I want to give credit to my editor: zoebabii328! Thanks for the reviews. I was pretty happy with how many I got. And just to say this one more time: this is NOT a Harry and Ron pairing. So for those of you who don't like slash, there you go.**

_**Day 2: Tuesday**_

Draco woke up with a start to hear the baby crying from the floor.

_Woops! The bloody thing must have fallen off the bed…_

Draco looked at the clock and noticed it was only five in the morning. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep he got out of bed. After calming the baby down he got dressed. Suddenly the baby started crying again. He couldn't get her to stop so he just put it on a chair and then put a silencing charm on her.

When it was time for breakfast, he took Dakota and the baby bag down to the Great Hall. When he saw Hermione, he ran over to her and thrust the baby in her face. He had taken the silencing charm off and once again he could hear the cries of the baby fill his ears.

"Make it stop, PLEASE!" he whined.

Hermione took the baby and smelled the diaper.

_Why is she smelling the diaper?_

"Oh my God Malfoy your so daft." Hermione said before she grabbed Dakota and the bag and left.

Draco sat down and rubbed his eyes.

"Tired Malfoy?" Ron asked. Harry was between them feeding little Sirius.

"The baby kept me up until twelve and then woke me up at five. Then when I was getting dressed, she started crying again."

"I would to if I had to watch you change." Ron muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, Draco had heard.

"Shut up weasel."

"Ferret!"

The next thing anyone knew, Draco had his wand pointed at Ron's throat.

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Hermione walked out of the bathroom and headed back towards the Great Hall. Changing the baby had been simple. She'd done it many times before.

_I should have realized Malfoy wouldn't know how to change a baby._

When she got there she heard Draco and Ron fighting. Then his wand was pointed at Ron's face. This is when Hermione had to intervene.

"Malfoy!" At hearing his name called he turned his head. Hermione ran over to the three boys and grabbed Draco's wand. "What are you doing? I leave you alone for five seconds and you're already at each other's throats." She sat down between Harry and Draco and gave him his wand back.

"Where were you?" Draco asked changing the subject.

"I went to the bathroom to change Dakota. I'm going to have to show you how. Probably when we have the free period." Hermione said thinking aloud.

"Can't wait." Draco said sarcastically.

"Shut up." Hermione replied as she handed him Dakota.

"What do you want me to do with her?" Draco questioned.

"Feed her… duh!"

_God… he really IS daft…_

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Dakota actually behaved during morning classes surprising Hermione. She only cried a few times. When lunch arrived, Hermione and Draco fed and burped Dakota. Hermione had already changed her diaper.

After lunch was the free period. The younger grades went to classes while some seventh years stayed behind. Others got up and left. Hermione and Draco talked with friends until it was time to change Dakota. She led him to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

"I'm not going in there!" Draco declared.

"Why not?"

"HELLO! It's a girl's bathroom. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a girl."

"Really? I was so sure… Seriously, just relax! No one is going to see you." Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Fine, but if one person sees me, you're dead."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" She replied pushing him inside.

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"See, that wasn't that bad." Hermione said but when she saw his face, she started laughing.

_That was awful. I can still smell it…_

After calming down Hermione started talking. "Okay, you get Dakota until dinner. After that, I'll take her."

_Didn't we already go through this yesterday? God, it's like she thinks I'm retarded…_

"Yes, I know! We went through this already." Draco snapped.

"Sorry. I'll see you at dinner." With that, Hermione disappeared.

Draco opened the door cautiously to check the hallways. When he was sure it was empty, he stepped out and ran down the hall toward his next class. While he was running, he tripped and Dakota flew out of his hands.

_Oh crap…_

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At dinner Hermione noticed that Draco was late.

_Where is he?_

Near then end of dinner, Draco still wasn't there yet. She was just about to get up to go look for him when he suddenly appeared at her side.

_OH MY GOD…_

"Malfoy you BROKE our baby?"

**A/N: Finally, a cliff hanger. I know you all probably hate me for it but sorry, I had to do it. Tell me what you think.**


	4. Day 3: Wednesday

**A/N: I want to thank everyone who stayed loyal throughout my freak out. I'm really sorry about that. Don't worry about it anymore. It won't happen again. I also want to thank my editor: zoebabii328 who really helped me out with this. So without further ado, I give you another chapter.**

**_Day 3: Wednesday_**

Hermione woke up to Dakota crying. She got out of bed and held Dakota until she stopped crying. As she got ready, she thought about what happened last night.

_**Flashback:**_

At dinner Hermione noticed that Draco was late.

_Where is he?_

Near the end of dinner, Draco still wasn't there yet. She was just about to get up to go look for him when he suddenly appeared at her side.

_OH MY GOD…_

"Malfoy you BROKE our baby?"

"Well I didn't mean to. When I was leaving… well you know where… I was running to get to class. I tripped and she flew out of my hands." Draco explained.

He was holding Dakota in one hand. The other hand held her left arm.

"So why were you late? And why is she so quiet?"

"I was trying to fix her and I put a silencing charm on her."

Hermione got up from the table, grabbed Draco's arm, and dragged him from the Great Hall.

"Where are we going?" Draco asked trying to wiggle free.

"To the hospital wing. Duh!" Hermione said rolling her eyes.

When they got there, they showed Madame Pomfrey a broken Dakota.

"I can fix her no problem. I've already gotten couples coming here with baby problems. But I'm going to have to tell Professor Snape." the nurse said.

"Why?" Hermione asked looking worried.

"Because he told me to." She replied.

"Great… just great." Hermione said as they left with a full Dakota. "Nice going Malfoy. Can't wait to see what you do next."

"I said I'm sorry."

"Well you should be." With that, Hermione walked away.

**_End of flashback_**

"I'm going to have to keep an eye on your father." Hermione stated looking at Dakota. Dakota didn't move. "I must be crazy… I'm talking to a doll." she said cracking a smile.

"It's okay Mommy."

Hermione jumped and then turned around to see Ginny standing there laughing. "Ha-ha Ginny. You're so funny."

"You're so easy Hermione." Ginny gasped after she was done. "Anyway, ready to go to breakfast?"

_Not ready for Malfoy if that's what you're asking…_

"Let's go."

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At breakfast Hermione and Draco didn't talk. She just gave him Dakota. At lunch it was the same way.

_I can't take it anymore…_

"Are you still mad at me?" Draco asked.

"Yes I am." Hermione replied glaring at him.

"I said I was sorry." Draco said starting to get angry.

_So I broke the baby. Madam Pomfrey fixed her. Why is she making such a big deal about it?_

"So? It doesn't change what you did."

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" Draco asked raising his voice.

"Because you're being careless. You've already broken Dakota and it has only been three days. And now, because of you, we're going to be in trouble with Snape."

_So THAT'S what she's worried about…_

"Will you relax? You heard Pomfrey. Plenty of other babies have already been broken. What's he going to do?"

"I guess you're right." Hermione grumbled so that he barely heard her.

After that, the pair still remained quiet but there was no longer any hostile tension between them. When lunch ended, they decided to stay in the Great Hall for their free period. They separated talking to their own friends.

Draco was unconsciously looking at Hermione from the corner of his eye. But when Seamus walked up to Hermione, he turned to watch them. Seamus sat down and started talking to her. It almost looked like…

_It looks like he's flirting with her…_

Draco found that he was glaring at them. Hermione's eyes slowly started to glide over to where he was sitting. He quickly shot his head away but after a second peered over at her again out of the corner of his eye. She was talking to Seamus again.

_Look at him walking up to her like he's the king of the world. Why would he want to talk to her anyway? Why would ANYONE want to talk to her?_

"Draco… earth to Draco!" Blaise said waving his hand in front of Draco's face.

"What?" Draco snapped turning to face his best friend.

"Who are you glaring at?"

"No one! What are you talking about?" Draco asked with a confused expression.

"Sure…" Blaise said smiling in a way that annoyed Draco.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked starting to get angry.

""It looked to me like you were glaring at a certain Gryffindor and her friend." Blaise said smugly.

"No! Why would I care what_ she_ does?"

"Maybe because…" Blaise started but was interrupted when Pansy appeared.

"Hi Drakie-poo!" She said squeezing herself between Blaise and Draco.

But once again, Draco was staring at Hermione unconsciously.

**A/N: Not a cliffhanger, but it's an interesting ending don't you think? So as I said in my other HP fanfic, I want to make shorter chapters. But to make it fair, I'm going to update faster. The more reviews I get though, the faster I update. The less reviews, the longer it takes to update. I need motivation people…**


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